Accepted
by StrayWind
Summary: OneShot.Just some good Heero and Duo Angst. Yaoi mentioned, but just a mention. Serious angst, 3 months after EW. Its Deathfic too, but I don't want to give it all away.


Hey people, I just kinda wrote this in an odd mood. I dunno, could be the late hour with work and all in...7 hours? Yay VV I wish for sleep. This One Shot is very nice, I think, although I'm not sure about the rating. Probably PG13 with the descriptive gut thing, but who knows? The quotes, Dr. Seuss mania for all, are from him. This story line is MINE however, even if the characters are not. Leave me with my storyline and my pathetic rendering of the G-boys, even if they don't belong to me. Kit, the muse, whispers "Get on with the story, moron, and try not to soak the pages with your pathetic tears" Oo meanie That being the disclaimer, here's the story. Lotsa angst, good descriptions, no OOC I think, yeah, its a bit Shounen Ai going on, but really only mention thereof. And if these are runon sentences, BACKOFF as I have to be at work for seven thirty and its midnight...errr yeah, my average is 6 anywayoptimistically...read and enjoy?

The room automatically brightened obediently, as any room always did, when Duo Maxwell walked energetically in with his braid swinging jauntily a step behind him.

"Heya Heero! I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner, you wouldn't believe how busy I've been. Hilde is such a slave driver, I swear she's trying to kill me. Honestly, if I didn't know better, I'd be checkin her records to see if she was an ex-Ozzie. I mean, a bad one.I know, I know, I'm nuttin but a baka, but she shouldn't have made me refile all the paper work when Larry knocked it over. Just 'cause I borrowed some of his parts for that old engine he started chasing me around the entire scrapyard to get them back even though I didn't have them on me and then he ended up tripping and hitting the filing cabinets and...well, you get the picture I bet."

Silence, except for the clicking of what sounded like a keyboard.

"Silent as ever, eh Heero? Would it kill you to get more of a vocabulary? There's only so many ways you can say 'hn', you know. Maybe you could start trying 'hm' or something. Every step counts, even the little ones, and before you know it we could get mini-sentences outta ya."

Clicking sounds.

An audible sigh from Duo. "Well, maybe I should strip naked and run around the room making elephant noises. Maybe you'd hear me then. Or maybe if I tried to break into your laptop again, or sneak real clothes into your wardrobe that don't have Spandex or Salvation Army on them, or get you to eat something other than those c-rations and protein bars that any regular person would die from."

I meant what I said, I said what I meant.

An Elephants faithful, one hundred percent.1

More clicking noises, mixed in for variety with the occasional odd beep.

"I dunno man, I miss you, you know? You never get to come over anymore, or call me a baka, or recon my apartment and scare the neighbors until I rescue them, or try to kill me for dying your clothes yellow...that was uncalled for too, I mean, yellow's a good color, I thought it might cheer you up and stop everyone at your office from calling you an eccentric homicidal vampire. Honestly, what kind of vampire would wear yellow? The green tank you could get away with, but yellow? Naaaaa. Not like you are a vampire or anything, but I can see where they're coming from, especially with the homicidal part."

Click click click click click click clickety click.

"Did you know Une offered me a job at Preventers? Not full time, of course. Imagine me in an office, with a uniform? Hah! I'd drive everyone insane, and maybe get Une to actually crack a smile. Une's her usual self by the way, or, well, selves. She's not as bad as she used to be though, maybe she's melding or something. Not that I can really talk about her anyway, with Shinigami and all. I think she wanted to bring that up with me, but I sortof mentioned her glasses and stuff and she dropped the subject. I'll just be around to break into places, maybe scare people, or help Wuffers out when he needs it. The boy seriously needs to relax. Somebody should pull that stick out of his ass. He's good lookin and everything but I'm seriously not the one to do it. I think I'd just give him more splinters. Yeah, annnnnyway, what I wanted to say is come back, ok? Everyone misses you, ok? I...miss you alot...yanno?."

Click click click click click clickety clickety click click click.

Duo got up with a sigh and headed towards the door, the only light coming from the glowing monitors in the darkened room. He paused at the entryway, and simply stared at the silent boy, no, man, lying so stilly on the crisp linen sheets of the bed. He looked at the monitors for Heero's heart rate, his mouth twisting into something that could have been a smile, if his eyes weren't so dead.

"It gets me every time I come to see you. Your heart rate sounds just like the clicking of a keyboard. Sometimes I think it really is and I'm just about asleep, and we're back at one of the safe houses on some downtime. Remember how I used to talk to you until I fell asleep? It bothered you in the beginning, but I think you got used to it in the end. You were always on that stupid laptop. I was jealous of the damn thing, you know. I never got that much attention. But hell, I don't even know if you're interested, I never got to ask you. I never told you how much I cared, never asked you if you felt the same way. I knew there was more to you, but I was too...scared you'd reject me or never talk to me again. It was worth not knowing, just to be able to be around you. But now" A pause filled the sterile room, forced through Duo's teeth before his voice once again continued. It was different though...hoarse, in a helpless, strained, anguished tone.

"...the others stopped coming to see you, even Relena. They've all given up on you, or maybe they never cared in the first place. Sometimes I wonder. They don't ask me about you anymore. I understand, kindof. Its been what, 3 months? Maybe, I couldn't even tell you what day it is. I don't really care though. I miss you...so much. I..."

A nurse interrupted the rest of Duo's decleration. She bustled around Heero with casual, indifferent efficiency. Didn't know who Duo was, didn't care. Didn't even know her patient's name, didn't care that he saved the world. Or that he murdered people. Or that he couldn't sleep without a weapon, never ran a comb through his hair, hated noodles and had a total addiction to pocky that was never spoken of. That he had been starting to laugh and smile, to actually joke a bit, to...feel. That he insisted on having rice and tea every morning, or that he insisted he disliked computer games, only to be caught red-handed playing Final Fantasy 11 online.

Duo flashed her a pasted on joker's smile that came on and fell off with an audible click once she acknowledged,casually and indifferently, then forgot, efficiently, the parody of a grin. He walked down the hallway, catching glimpses of old men in beds and little kids playing games,hooked up to so many machines the entire room was a sick version of a Dr. Seus book.

He felt so empty, so dead, that he wasn't surprised to get the call later that day that he died, wasn't surprised that he didn't react to it. He also wasn't surprised at his friend's reactions, sympathy and momentary surprise with ill concealed relief that he had finally gone, that they weren't expected to pretend to be hopeful for something they had already accepted. Duo wasn't stupid, he knew he should have too. He had known the foregone conclusion when he had seen Heero, pale and stitched, in his hospital bed. He had known, of course.

But had refused to accept it. Had refused to believe his best friend, secret love, and only confidante in life was gone. So he had ignored it, continued on with life and slowly fallen apart, cracked inside. His friends all knew it too. And he hated them for it. Hated them for their sympathy or pity, hated the well-meant but cruel sayings like 'he's in a better place' or even worse, 'he's not suffering anymore'. Hated the fact that they thought they understood how he felt. And hated even more that they might, indeed, understand.

He wasn't surprised when it started to pour during the funeral service. Wasn't surprised when he was the last to leave Heero's gravesite. Wasn't surprised when the fast moving, trendy looking sports car ran through the red light as he was walking, slowly, like a broken doll, through the crosswalk. Was almost relieved when it careened, brakes squealing but too late, oh much too late with the roads slick and the rain still pouring down in sheets.

It hurt a lot less than he thought it would. Dazed, Duo lay in the street, felt the blood running out of his mouth and down his face. Everything ached, but in a detached way, so disconnected. Not real in a hazy, crappy movie kind of way. His insides felt soft and blended together;broken, and when he tried to move...nothing happened. Not even a twitch. He hoped he was going to die, as being a parapalegic would seriously be Hell. So miserable,unable to move, to walk or go to the store for groceries, vacuum or take out the trash, grab a knife or a bottle of pills. No pulling a trigger when you can't move a muscle and no one would help you as any life is better than no life. No no don't do that, they say, so sympathetic and pitying as they smile and look sad and then walk, walk away, to go home and eat dinner and hug their kids with their happy, moving, untouched lives.

Click Click Click Click.

Shit! Would he never be rid of that damn laptop! He looked for the source of the painful noise and noticed, in a bemused sort of way, that it was the windsheild wipers of the car sliding across the broken windshield. They were good windshield wipers, swiping the blood that had been deluded with the rain onto the wet pavement and staring bystanders.

There were flashing lights now, and people running. What were they panicking about? Duo was the one who had been hit, shoudn't he be panicking?

Click click clickety click.

Duo began to laugh. Laughed even as he felt something give inside, like stepping on an overripe plum, felt thick liquid forcing its way out of his mouth even as he laughed, and noted in the back of his mind that it was black.

The edges of his vision were fading, darkening into a dark,ever so dark, nothing.

He could still see the others in quiet, friendly, moments. Could still see Heero trying to kill him, trying to help him; hurting him, patching up his wounds. Could still see battles and blood, torture chambers, L2, Solo, the gang, flowers, sunlight, feelf a decent meal in his belly. Still see Heero laughing for the first time, eating icecream, laughing with Quatre on the reunion of the pilots at the beach. Still see Heero, alive, glaring suspiciously at his first ever piece of pocky and the way his eyes lit up, so quickly hidden, when he finally took a cautious bite. Still see...

Eventually, I'll see him again?

Really?

**In the dark?  
Here in the dark!**2

The first quote, is a Dr. Suess quote from the book Horton Hatches the Egg, not sure what page. The second one right here is another Dr. Suess Quote from a book, although I'm not sure which one. They are both entirely from Dr. Seuss, and the way in which I used them, while probably wrong because they are indeed from children's books, fitted quite convenientlyand a bit creepy-like too Oo and seem to work fine. I hope I didn't completely screw this up. I got sad when I wrote this though VV


End file.
